Nothing came before this
Nothing lead up to this
There is nothing that caused this

There is nothing that comes after this
This isn't leading anywhere
Nothing results from this

This is all there is

 

É de manhã 

It’s morning

Vem o sol mas os pingos da chuva

The sun comes but the raindrops

Que ontem caiu 

That fell yesterday

Ainda estão a brilhar

Are still shining

Ainda estão a dançar

Are still dancing

Ao vento alegre

To the the happy wind

Que me traz esta canção 

That brings me this song

Quero que você me dê a mão 

I want you to give me your hand

Vamos sair por aí

Let’s go out and about

Sem pensar no que foi 

Without thinking of what it was

Que sonhei, que chorei, que sofri 

That I dreamed, that I cried, that I suffered

Pois a nossa manhã 

Because our morning

Já me fez esquecer

Has already made me forget 

Me dê a mão, vamos sair pra ver o sol, o sol...

Give me your hand, let’s go out to see the sun, the sun...

...As Emerson wrote in “Experience,” an essay that confronted the facile positivism of his age: “We have learned that we do not see directly, but mediately, and that we have no means of correcting these colored and distorting lenses which we are, or of computing the amount of their errors. Perhaps these subject-lenses have a creative power; perhaps there are no objects.”

There can come a time when one is no longer interested in being ‘the person who ’_____  (fill in the innumerable possible blanks with anything great or small) and is ready to just be.

It can still happen that there are many crystal clear memories that no longer seem to apply to anyone. All those adventures, plans, and dreams. The dramas, the fears, the emotions, all those milestones, the important moments of insight or learning, the challenges, triumphs, defeats, embarrasments. All the sweet quiet moments as if filled with a silent music and those precious moments filled with irritation or boredom. All of it remembered with a sharp poignancy and endearment but all of it... Well how can I say this? Not in any way to deny experience but all of it is so completely and wonderfully irrelevant. The best words I can find to describe it are non applicable. They apply to no one. Though a story or program may appear to run it carries no weight nor any real momentum.  All of that is completely irrelevant to This.

Everything that ever was, is, will, won’t or could be... none of it has anything to do with, or any effect on, This.

I know where I am and it’s exactly where I want to be. I know what I am. I am This, my birthright.  My God, filled with gratitude I look into your eyes and you look into mine. End of story.

Thank you with all my heart
for this one breath
this great peace
for the smile of the Cheshire Cat that fills the sky

...and then suddenly I have access to another set of memories. Actually it was 3 memories but I could see that they belonged to another complete set, like a whole other life going on. It didn't feel like a past life, just another life, but mine... I don't know. It was very clear but very brief. Less than a second and then they were gone, like "oops, you are not supposed to see these" and that door is slammed shut. I can't bring them back, they instantly become completely out of reach but, interestingly, I am left with the clear memory of having seen them.

There is saying I've heard that goes something like “If you let go a little, you will have a little peace. If you let go a lot, you will have a lot of peace. If you let go completely, you will know complete peace”. My question is how do I let go?

Generally speaking at least once a day you already relax and let go of everything completely. Everything that has happened, everything that you have planned, everything you've done or said or thought and everything that anyone else you know of has done, said, thought. Important matters that need to be dealt with at work, fun little projects that you are working on (including 'spiritual' ones of course) or even, let's say, the most critical issues concerning your life, your health, your family, your country, the world... At some point everyday you open your hands and let all of this fall away to the point of forgetting it all completely. In fact you drop everything you know and the whole world falls away. Though at times it might seem impossible for the mind to let go of your pain or excitement, your plans or suffering, important as they may be, at some point, whether you feel like you've “earned it” or not, you apparently give yourself permission (and on a pretty regular schedule) to let it go, lie down and fall headlong into shining darkness and mystery.

And once in a lifetime you relax and let it all go completely and forever. End of story.
And it's OK. It pretty much has to be OK right? I mean at that point it's not as if you had a choice or anything. No more arguing with it. No more waiting for a better tomorrow. There are no more tomorrows. You're done, this is it.

So maybe what you are asking is how can this happen before it's time for the body to die or without falling asleep? Or maybe you are asking for a kind of permission. Something like, if it's quite alright for me to completely let go at these already regularly scheduled times would it really matter all that much to the universe, would it be OK, if just I did the same thing right now but kept my eyes open?

If you don't relate to what I'm saying here that's perfectly OK. But if (big if) this is something you really want...  well then it's already accomplished. Look around. It's already happened and you can relax. It doesn't have to look like anything in particular or like anything you expected. Nothing has to happen first in order for you to let go. If you're ready then it's done. As simple as that. And your story lies around you like the dead pine needles on the ground around the tree. You're free now. And check it out, you're still breathing. You haven't actually forgotten anything. You're alive and you're awake! In fact nothing has happened though a miracle seems to have occurred.

A friend of mine take took this picture below that perfectly captures this for me. An intimate portrait of the precise texture of the moment. So ordinary. So clear and clearly seen. So exactly perfect. Just here, like the feeling of air on your face. Weightless, simple, clear. Nothing much really to say or think about that is there? One really has to laugh :)



What greater boon, what greater treasure than this that you already have? To not only cease resisting or fighting with it but to rush to it. To open one's eyes and arms to it. To let go and let that which Is have you completely, because guess what, it already does!

So I find the only questions left to ask myself would be along the lines of:
Do I want this? Am I in line with what is? Am I ready to let go?
Very simple yes or no questions and actually nothing much to be done about it whichever way they are answered. All the same I would say that they are worth asking/answering.

"So what does one do when thoughts no longer have anything of real value to offer? When the interpretation that they give of oneself or the world is no longer believed or accepted. When they cannot be relied upon as a guide. Where does one go from there"?

Exactly.

I am sitting in a quiet clearing on some high ground amongst the pine trees and manzanita. I don't really know how I came to be here. Only by becoming good and lost it seems as there were no trails until very near the end. When I found myself here it was so quiet and peaceful that I stayed.

 

It's been some time now (months, years?) Apparently outside of this circle in the trees the wars still rage and bombs are still falling all around. So many urgent things remain to be done, issues to be resolved, points to be made, healing to take place, development and learning to occur. I make a movement to leave but then...  don't. 

 

When lying on my back many dreams can still be seen floating by overhead, some beautiful, some not so much. But here, in this clearing, there is only complete peace and utter stillness that nothing can disturb. Just a dazzling clearness in front of the eyes, behind the eyes and all around. A feeling of clearness fills what used to be my body and what used to be my mind. 

 

Now there is dirt, pine needles and a scented wind that moves through the clearing and through this body completely unimpeded. 

 

A gathering at a friend's house of many people hanging out talking and eating. I was talking to a guy I know who had a number written on a piece of paper, a number that I was very interested in and needed to remember but it became apparent that I would have to copy it down so I went searching for a pen and paper. The paper I found was waxy and the pen not working so hot but I eventually got it all operating well enough to serve. 2311 - 2073 - 31... hmmm, there now appeared to be another problem, that is I coudn't seem to faithfully copy the number. I kept making mistakes. I finally asked my friend to please recite it to me while I wrote but even then after a couple of digits I noticed with astonishment that I was writing a different number than the one he was dictating to me! WTF??!!  This was really puzzling to me and more than a little disconcerting until a few moments later when it became obvious what the problem was...